


Steve and Danny's Excellent TLK

by lucybun



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 99 percent fairy tale magic and 1 percent harry potter magic, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Author Trying to be Funny, Fairy Tale Style, Fractured Fairy Tale, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27010228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybun/pseuds/lucybun
Summary: Prince Danny of New Jersey has been cursed, and it's up to Sir Steve to save the day.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 28
Kudos: 86





	Steve and Danny's Excellent TLK

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WrittenFire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenFire/gifts).



> Thank you so much to [WrittenFire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenFire/pseuds/WrittenFire) for a Sleeping Beauty AU prompt. Her story idea was beautiful and detailed, and the version she's writing will be amazing as always. This story, however, is silly and contains more run on sentences than any story has a right to. Also, this happens in a land where homosexual relationships are perfectly acceptable, even for princes.

Once upon a time there was a beloved king and queen who ruled over the maybe not as beautiful as it could be but the food was really freaking good Kingdom of New Jersey. Now the brave King Edward and the smokin’ hot Queen Clara began working on producing an heir as soon as they were married and not a moment before that no matter what that piece of trash Duchess Ramona from the next castle over said. She was just jealous anyway. So, ten months later (wink, wink) their first child was born. A bouncing baby boy named Daniel.

Now, Daniel was special. Blue-eyed and blond, he had an infectious smile and a screaming cry that could be heard all over the kingdom. “Dada” was his first word, and he never shut up again. Once he was big enough, he loved to run all over the castle grounds with his buddies from the town. They’d play stickball (which Prince Danny was really freaking good at), and they’d climb on all the trellises and trees until the ladies in the village didn't care who his parents were, he needed to get his little ass out of their apple trees. He was a ball of energy. A loud ball of energy.

By the time his tenth birthday rolled around, he had two sisters and a brother to play with, but he mostly just bossed them around because they were always doing something wrong, like breathing, or really annoying him with some of their little baby crap. He maybe had a smidge more attitude than was necessary, but he still had a lot of friends because he was funny and quick and charming when he wanted to be. When he finally dragged himself home from the village one day with a black eye and a busted lip from sassing one of the older kids, his mother had had enough. “No more playing in the town, Danny! I told you those little hoodlums were gonna be nothin’ but trouble for my baby boy. I told you, Eddie! Didn’t I tell you?” 

“Yes, Dear,” he replied, honestly having no idea what she said but understanding that he should just agree or he’d be spending the night on the royal couch.

Who the hell else was he supposed to play with though? His sisters and brother were too small, and his cousins all lived in New York, the massive kingdom across the river which was perfectly nice but also please remember that the world didn’t revolve around that kingdom even if their stickball teams were the best. 

The answer came a few weeks later when the king hired a new head of security. The man had lived all the way over the western ocean in the Kingdom of Hawaii. His wife had been killed the year before, so he’d packed his son and daughter up and moved about as far away from Hawaii as he could manage. He’d landed in Jersey because his sister was a bard over in New York. She was pretty good too, and a real looker. Sir John of Oahu had been a chief of the city guard in Honolulu, so he was a natural for the head of palace security. Besides, the king was tired of hiring like his third cousin twice removed or something. He needed a professional.

The second night of his duties, a medium-sized banquet was thrown in John’s honor. There was a lot of family and a lot of ziti, so pretty standard. That’s when the king and queen found out about Sir John’s son. Sir John’s son who was the same age as Prince Danny. The two royals made eye-contact and the queen slapped her husband’s arm and made a “talk to the man” gesture. So he did, and two days later, a rather tall, solemn Steven of Honolulu walked into the castle for the first time.

The king and queen, who very much did not stand on ceremony but Sir John didn’t know that yet because, hello, it had only been a few days since he’d started and he hadn’t really learned the ropes yet, figured he’d just bring his kid over and knock on the door of the family’s chambers. Instead he parked Steven on an ornate bench outside of the throne room and made him promise not to move. A few minutes after his father left though, he was sitting there minding his own business when a beat-up looking kickball rolled right down the hall and landed at his feet. 

Now, Steven tried very hard to be a good boy. His father wasn’t stern, but he had very high expectations of his son. His mother had probably been worse than the father about that. But he was still just a ten year old boy, and what ten year old boy could resist a kickball? So he looked around everywhere, and when he didn’t see anyone coming after the ball, he slowly stood up and gave it a tiny, little kick. Thirty seconds later, he was running down the hall, kicking the ball over the thick, ornate carpets.

Right about the time he got to the heavy set of doors at the end of the corridor, he realized that one of the doors wasn’t shut. A boy a few years younger than himself suddenly sidled through the opening. (It was Danny. There’s no mystery here. He was just small for his age, but that doesn’t matter and it’s not going to be mentioned again except for maybe three or four more times.) Steve stopped with his foot on top of the ball and placed his fists on his hips.

Danny froze in his tracks, completely startled when he saw the other boy. He didn’t recognize the kid, so he lifted his stickball stick that was almost always in his hand and said, “Who the heck are you?”

Steven, who didn’t know who this little kid was but he probably shouldn’t be upstairs because he was obviously a servant boy or something, replied, “Who the heck are you?”

Danny was even more puzzled at that point because who didn’t know who he was? He rolled his eyes and told the stupidly tall kid, “I’m Prince Danny.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so, buddy. I’m Steven of Honolulu and my dad’s in charge of security for this whole castle. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be here.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I am, weirdo.”

“Ok then, if you’re Prince Danny, prove it.”

“How’m I supposed to prove it? I don’t exactly have a royal portrait on me, you know. Why don’t you prove who you are, jerk?”

“How? I don’t exactly have a family portrait on me.” The kid lifted his chin and smirked.

Danny officially hated him as soon as he saw that smirk. Thing one when he became king, he was gonna track this guy down and put him in the stocks for the day or something. Not that they did that in Jersey. Unless you crossed the wrong people, then maybe, but that’s not something the government did. Better than getting your legs broken, for sure though. So, smirky kid in the stocks, then taxes or whatever.

“Listen, weirdo, just give me my ball back and go away.”

“Oh, this is your ball, huh?” When Danny nodded, Steve picked it up. “Put the stick down, and I’ll throw you the ball.”

“Excuse you? You're gonna throw me the ball, and me and my stick are gonna go back to my room as soon as I tell my folks there’s a mental patient in the hallway.”

Steve, smirking again because the kid was funny and talked strange, just said, “No.”

And Prince Danny? He maybe had a bit of a temper. He had a double blow because he was tiny and he was mouthy, and he got real sick of other stupid jerks like Smirky giving him shit. Everybody takes the ball from the runt. Well, not that runt. Danny’d fight a giant if he got riled enough. He looked at the ceiling like he was praying for patience, then he jabbed his finger at the tall boy and growled, “This is my house and my ball, so give. It. Back.” 

Smirky, who was honest to God really asking for it this time, just hugged the ball tighter. “No.”

Prince Danny did what anyone would expect him to do, which was throw down his stick (he wasn’t gonna use it on somebody unarmed), and stomp toward the kid. Fortunately, the throne room doors opened right about then, and the parents of the boys stepped into the hall, smiling when they saw them.

“Oh good!” cried Queen Clara, “You two have already met! Danny, this is Steve, and he’s gonna be your new friend.”

Danny turned red and his eyes bulged out, “My friend? MY FRIEND!?! No, no way. He took my ball and wouldn't give it back and he’s a jerk and we’re never gonna be friends ever!”

Steve, for his part, was genuinely shocked that the spitfire really was Prince Danny. He didn’t act like any royalty Steve had ever met, but Jersey was really, really different from Hawaii. And while he didn’t exactly like the prince, the boy wasn’t all bad. He was funny, he apparently liked sports, and he was pretty brave. When he glanced up and saw his father’s stern, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” face, he turned to the other boy, handed him his ball, and said, “I think we’re gonna get along great.” He smirked extra just for Danny.

Real shocker, but by a month in, they were best friends. The play together, go to lessons together, eat every meal together kind of friends. Steve&Danny. Danny only complained one time about Steve’s name always being first. Steve looked at his friend’s face to make sure he wasn’t actually bothered by it then pushed him into a pile of hay.

The boys got older until they weren’t quite boys anymore. Queen Clara called them young gentlemen now when they were at court. Behind closed doors, she still called them little shits, but she was the Queen, so she could do that if she wanted to. Besides, it was true. 

Getting older though, that wasn’t so good for Steve&Danny because, no matter that his dad was close to the royal family and no matter that the two boys had been in each other’s pocket for six years, the truth was they were going to have very different paths in life. Steve, smart, strong, sporty, cocky Steve had his sights set on the Royal Navy. Publicly, Danny supported this. It was his father’s navy that Steven wanted to join, and he appreciated the dedication. Privately, he thought it was stupid and dumb and why couldn’t Steven just be the head of security when his old man retired? What, he was too good for that? He had to get on a freakin’ death trap of a boat ( _Ship. They’re ships._ ) and sail off to God knows where? Steven always just smiled at the rant, happy to have his friend waving and griping, and did another push-up so he would be ready for the Kingdom of New Jersey Naval Academy. Which Danny thought was a dumb and stupid place now, by the way, and he was still gonna put Steve in the stocks once he was King Danny because a promise was a promise, but next he was gonna do away with the navy. 

Danny’s path, well, that was pretty much set in stone. He was destined for greater things, so he began to learn about actually ruling a kingdom. Turns out it was a lot of hard work and that getting rid of the navy was probably a bad idea. He’d just send for Steve and make him stay once he was king. The idiot. He spent more and more time with his father and his advisors than he did with Steve, and he hated it. Not the learning, that was okay. He was a good student, and he actually felt a deep sense of responsibility to his future subjects, even if he didn't like most people. He hated not being around Steve. Haaaaated it. Unfortunately, he never took a lot of time to examine why that was. Even when they both had decided that girls were definitely not gross, and when the girls decided Steve sure as hell wasn’t gross and Danny was charming and built and, don’t forget, going to be king one day, they still didn’t make much room for anyone else in their lives.

They got away with that for a few years. Steve was at the academy (top of his class, duh), but he still got to come home fairly often to visit. Danny was still basically shadowing his dad and figuring out how not to ruin everyone’s lives by being a dumbass, but he was still given free time to do the things young men do. That’s shorthand for drinking too much and tupping lasses like Gina who lived three houses down from his sister Stella’s best friend Becky in the back of her dad’s carriage. It had been amazing, and it had lasted about thirty seconds. He got better at it with practice, but he wasn’t an asshole, just to be clear. He was polite and attentive and a firecracker in the sack. It was a good combo. Steve was just as kind about it, but he didn’t have a lot of patience for the wooing Danny was so good at. He didn’t really need to because the ladies thought he was crazy sexy, the bastard. 

So they caroused together. Mostly though, they still rode horses and played ball and swam in the lake even though Princess Danielle was really precious about her hair. When he was nineteen years old, he punched Steve for making fun of him for being girly because there was nothing degrading about being a girl and Steve was just jealous because his hair was so boring. The princess jokes stopped, and Danny was still very careful with his ‘do.

The real problem started when it was time for Steve to graduate. It was a problem because graduation meant going into the actual navy, and going into the navy meant getting on a boat ( _A ship! God!_ ) and going to wherethefuckever and maybe never coming back. Danny actually went to his father the night before Steve was due to report to his first assignment and asked if there wasn’t some way to stop it. He was a prince of the realm, his father was the king, and it was the _Royal_ Navy. Couldn’t they just tell Steve no? Turns out that they could, but the wise king reminded Danny that the navy had been Steve’s dream since they’d been boys. Did Danny really want to stand in the way of that? Yeah, he kind of did because he was legitimately scared for the guy. There wasn’t a risk that Steve wasn’t willing to take. It’d probably make him a good soldier ( _Sailor! Quit doing this shit on purpose_.), but it’d probably make him a dead one too. Still, Danny couldn’t find it in his heart to stop him. 

The morning Steve was due to ship out, the family had a lovely going away breakfast for him, and there was a lot of crying and hugging and reminiscing about the past. It would’ve been perfectly wonderful if Danny had sacked up and showed his face, but he was pretty sure he would’ve spent the whole time crying like a baby, so he stayed in his chambers and let everybody else have a good time. Finally though, he heard a courtesy knock at his door before Steve barged in. 

“What the hell, man? You don’t even come say goodbye. You’re my best friend, and you can’t be bothered?” Steve looked so hurt, but how could he even think that Danny didn’t care. Was he a freaking idiot?

“Are you a freaking idiot? You think I don’t care? You are not this stupid. You cannot be this stupid. I hope to God that the navy wouldn’t take you if you were this stupid. I care, okay. I care a whole fuckin’ lot, and I don’t want you to go but you have to go anyway but I don’t have to like it. You’re not the boss of me.” His eyes were wet and his face was red, but he wasn’t crying. He absolutely was not crying.

Steve’s face went soft, and he smiled sadly. “I know you don’t want me to go, but I gotta do this. I _need_ to do it. I’m good at it, man. I can help the nation, I can keep the people safe. Your people, Danny.”

Danny sniffed. “They’re your people now too, you know?”

Steve nodded. “I know. This isn’t goodbye forever, okay. I’ll be back.” At this point, he was trying not to cry too. Which was fine because he wasn’t an emotionally stunted tin man and tears were natural when saying goodbye to the most important person in your life. 

The prince sighed in resignation. He was sad and sick, but it wasn’t fair to make his friend feel bad for leaving to chase his happiness. He wasn’t sure why Steve couldn’t just figure out a way to be happy within a five mile radius of the castle, but he wiped his eyes quickly and wrapped his arms tightly around his friend. Steve gathered him up just as tightly and rocked him a bit from side to side. Danny felt the other man tense up before Steve pressed a soft kiss to his temple. A jolt of something passed through the smaller man when he felt those soft lips on his skin. After a moment, he recognized what it was. It stunned him, but it really shouldn’t have because, come on, who didn’t see that coming? It made him want to throw a royal tantrum because he’d just figured out he was in love with his best friend about five minutes before said friend took off to sail to some hot and sandy shithole for who knows how long. 

He had no clue if the small kiss had affected Steve the same way or if Steve had recognized the shudder that went through Danny as he held him. Danny couldn't ask. It was doomed anyway, so what was the point? He let Steve go and stepped away before clearing his throat and grumbling, “Don’t get dead, okay?”

Smirky just did his thing with his face. His stupid, handsome face. “I won’t.” He walked to the door and stopped before he turned the knob, his back to his friend. “I love you, Danny.” It sounded choked, but he kept his head high and his spine straight, already the courageous soldier. ( _Swear to God, this is not hard!_ )

He was so angry at the whole situation that he could die from it. Instead, he fell back on old habits and gave Steve crap. “Yeah well, I hate you so much. Get outta here, you animal.”

He couldn’t see Steve’s wobbly smile, he could only see his head bow as the man walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. The prince felt like his heart had been ripped out. Young people do that. They get all melodramatic about love, but this was the real deal. He was in love, and it wasn’t a young people love. It was a love that had had over a decade to grow, and it was walking away down the same hall where they’d first met. It took a minute, but it finally dawned on him that it was possible that the last words he might ever say to his friend were that he hated him. He didn’t of course, and Steve knew that. He’d even been amused by it, but Danny didn’t know that. He couldn’t be absolutely sure. 

He ran out of his room, booking it after Steve, catching sight of him just before he stepped outside.

“Steve!” 

The other man turned in surprise, his brow drawing down in concern. “Yeah?”

“I love you too.” He said it quietly, but he was looking his friend straight in the eye, head high and back straight because he could be courageous too.

Steve’s face lit up with the biggest smile Danny had ever seen, and he nodded with understanding. He gulped a little and took a deep breath. “I’ll be back, Your Highness,” he promised. Stepping out into a dangerous future, Steve felt the prince watching him until he’d ridden out of the castle gates. He hadn’t expected leaving to hurt so much or he might not have done it. It was too late by then though, and he really did want to be part of something bigger than himself. He really wanted to protect the land that had embraced his family when they were at their lowest. He wanted to serve the family that had let him in and given him the best friend anyone ever had. Part of him, and he’d never tell anyone this ever, wanted to serve _Danny_. He galloped through the town, trying his best not to cry, and left through the city gates on the road to the coast. As he reached the first rise of the countryside, he turned and looked at the castle in the distance. He would be back. He swore it on everything he held dear, which was pretty much Danny, his sister, and his sword. Anyway, he’d be back.

And indeed, eighteen months later, Sir Steven returned to the Kingdom of New Jersey. As soon as he set foot on land, he walked to the nearest stable and bought a horse for the trip home. He rode as hard as he and his horse could handle, but it took several hours before he saw the outskirts of the town a few miles away. He noticed though that the closer he got to it, the stranger things began to look. First of all, it was summer and there were no flowers anywhere. Second, he didn’t hear any birds, just a lot of screeching and squealing and creepy stuff like that. Third, and perhaps most importantly, there was a lot of black and green going on. A lot. Just neon, puke green everywhere. And black. 

When he reached the outskirts of the village, things got even creepier because it was completely empty. There was no one around, but everything looked the same. Except for the green glow, of course. He hopped off his horse when he was in front of the tavern, peeked inside, then freaked the hell out. The village wasn’t empty, everyone was dead! He pushed inside and went to the closest table, recognizing the town notary lying face down with a beer stein still in his hand. Steve checked for a pulse, not expecting to find anything. Imagine his surprise when he felt a heartbeat and when he realized the dude was breathing. He paid a little closer attention and realized everybody in the place was still breathing.

He stumbled back outside and nearly fell on his ass when he saw movement closer to the castle. He jumped onto his horse and tore down the road, swearing up a storm at all the big black thorns that were suddenly everywhere. He went as far as he could without hurting his trusty steed before he jumped down and was about to start hacking with his sword. Before he could, he heard three voices yelling at him to stop. Turning to see two men and a woman running toward him, he figured he was hallucinating because he would’ve sworn they were wearing shirts made from the bright patterned fabrics of Hawaii. One red, one blue, one green. Seriously, that’s what tripped him up. Hawaiian shirts. Not the "no sun/green glow" combo. Hawaiian shirts. His brain must’ve still been on the boat. ( _Fuck everything and everyone._ ) 

Anyway, they stopped right in front of him, and the girl punched him hard right on the arm. She was stronger than she looked, and it hurt. For real. He jerked back and started rubbing his bicep. “What the fuck? What is wrong with you? Who even are you?” 

“We’re the Three Fairies!” the girl said.

“No, we are not the damn Three Fairies, girl. No way, uh uh,” the tall one replied.

“We’re really not. It’s a dumb name. Let us have a little dignity,” the handsome one added. The other two just looked at him like he’d lost his mind. He rolled his eyes before turning to Steve. “We’re the… well, we haven’t really settled on a name, but there’s three of us and we do magic.”

Steve looked really skeptical. “Suuure. Well, if that’s true I just want to say that I think the Three Fairies would be an awesome name.”

Girl Fairy clapped her hands while the two men just groaned. Nobody had told them what a little shit Sir Steven could be.

“Whatever, man,” Tall Fairy grumbled. “Please tell us that you’re Sir Steven. I am tired, and I would like to see my wife sometime this year.”

Steven was surprised they knew his name. “I am Sir Steven. Can you guys tell me what the hell is going on?”

“We can,” Handsome Fairy answered. “It all started last year–”

“Right after I left?” Steve wondered.

Tall Fairy poked his shoulder. “Man, we don’t have your day planner. How the hell are we supposed to know?”

“It all started probably about the time you left the kingdom,” Handsome ventured again. Steve just smirked at Tall, clearly forgetting the man had said he could do magic. “ANYWAY!” Handsome started for the last freaking time, “there was a group of visiting dignitaries who arrived for a summit on forming an alliance against the Earl of Pennsylvania. Many of them took it as an opportunity to introduce any of their appropriately aged children to Prince Daniel. Of course, Prince Daniel wasn’t interested in any of them, which was a little—”

“Wait, none of them? He wasn’t interested in any of them?” Steven looked delighted, and Handsome looked like he was ready to kill him. “Oh, sorry. Go on.”

“Which was a little irritating to the potential suitors, but they all seemed to figure he just wasn’t ready to settle down yet. No harm, no foul. All except for one. The Lady Rachel of Hollander. She was very enamored of Prince Daniel, and he was kind to her. She mistook that kindness for something more, and she believed the prince had fallen for her. When he refused to dance with anyone beside his mother and sisters at the royal ball though, she lost it. She ran to her mother in the salon, crying that the Prince had led her on but would not have anything more to do with her. Her mother, who had been very interested in the potential match, was furious. She’d expected the prince to do right by her beautiful daughter.”

“So how beautiful are we talking here? Like really, really, ‘oh my god she looks like a painting’ beautiful or ’her grandmother thinks she’s beautiful’ beautiful.”

“I swear to God—”

“Lou! You can’t hurt him! We need him.”

Lou stabbed a finger at Steve. “Let the man finish his damn story!”

Girl Fairy took the opportunity to stage whisper at Steve, “Closer to the second one than the first. Way closer.” Then she held her hand up for Steve to high five. Lou nearly lost his shit.

“Steven,” Handsome said, “would you like to guess what the mother did when she found out Prince Daniel didn’t want her daughter?”

“Went nuts and turned everything green and wrapped the castle in some big frickin briars? Oh, and knocked out everyone in the village.”

“That second one was actually us,” Girl admitted. “We didn’t know how long the prince would be asleep, so we just put everybody on pause until we could figure something out.”

“Figure something out? Like how to reverse this?”

“No, dumbass, how to bake a cake. Yes, how to reverse this. If this is that boy’s true love then maybe we oughta let him stay asleep.” Lou kinda hated the guy.

“Wait, what boy is asleep? Is Danny asleep?” Steve was so confused. 

“Turns out Comtesse Amanda de Savage, Rachel’s mother, was actually a very powerful witch. She flew into a rage and threw a killing curse at Prince Daniel, but one of the prince’s bodyguards managed to block most of it. The guard was unfortunately killed, but the prince only received a glancing blow. He’s in an enchanted sleep, but he’s very much alive.”

“Was she one of my father’s people?”

Handsome nodded. “She was. Grace Tilwell.”

Steve didn’t remember the name, but if they all got out of this, he’d see that she was honored as the hero she was.

Steve breathed in and out twice, giving himself a moment to absorb all the information. He looked back at Handsome. “What does all this have to do with me? You were waiting for me, but I can’t do magic. I don’t know if I even believed in it before this.”

“That’s easy!” Girl Fairy chirped. “True love’s kiss!”

Steve’s whole face went blank. “What now?”

Handsome pinched the bridge of his nose. “True love’s kiss. We’ve tried everything we know to do to wake Prince Daniel. Nothing worked. Nothing. That’s why we decided to put everyone else to sleep until we solved this.”

“So how do we reverse it?”

“You!” they all three answered.

“You’re his true love!” Girl grinned. “There’s no magic in the world that’s greater than true love’s kiss. This is seriously basic stuff, you know? What are they teaching kids these days?”

Since she actually looked a lot younger than Steve, he just ignored that last bit and focused on the important part. “You think I’m Danny’s true love?” His voice sounded uncertain.

“Son,” Tall told him, “everybody thinks you’re his true love. Before we knocked these fine townsfolk out, they all told us that we had to find you if the prince needed his TLK.”

“Yeah?” Steve’s voice sounded a little stronger and a lot more excited. He loved Danny so much, and he’d been pretty sure Danny felt the same way, but his true love? Steve hadn’t even dreamed of anything that amazing. The fuckin’ sap.

Anyway, the magic friends definitely not called the Three Fairies all looked at Steve expectantly. He nodded decisively and turned to the castle. There was an even brighter green glow coming from the window of the tallest turret. Seriously, so much green. He figured that was where Danny was. 

He turned to the others. “How am I supposed to get up there?”

“That’s up to you, Super Soldier,” Lou answered.

“Sailor.”

“Come again?”

“Sailor. Super Sailor.”

“Brother, you better get your ass up there.”

Steve stepped back and studied the giant briars wrapped all around the castle and covering the castle grounds. He was fairly certain he could climb his way up the tower if he could just get to it. He shrugged his shoulders, shook his arms loose, and headed in. It took him longer than he expected to get close enough. It was slow going, and he couldn’t get any sense of direction from the sky. He had to stop a few times and climb up some of the taller briars just to get a visual. 

Hours later, he reached the tower. There didn’t seem to be any sort of time crunch outside of his own need to see Danny, so he took a few minutes to rest. He was a good climber, but it had been a hell of a day, and this was too important for him to fail. Once he felt a little stronger, he stripped down to his shirt and britches and headed up the tower. About halfway up, his shirt got snagged on a thorn the size of his thumb. He nearly fell trying to pull it back, so he just slipped out of it and let the thorn have it. At last, he made it to the window of the turret and used all his stupid muscles to pull himself into the room. 

Danny was lying on a bed right in the middle of the space. He looked so still and small that it made Steve incredibly uncomfortable. It was way too much like Danny dying, and Steve didn’t like it one bit. He advanced on the platform where his friend was resting and could see his chest moving up and down. He placed his hand there just to feel the lungs expanding and to feel the prince’s heartbeat. He stared down at his  
One True Love, licking his lips as he tried to figure out the process for the TLK. Finally he decided that he was overthinking the whole thing, so he placed a small kiss at the corner of Danny’s mouth and stepped back.

Suddenly everything went from green to white then back to normal. Just like that, like someone had lit a torch, the sun was out, birds were singing, the briars were gone, and Prince Daniel of New Jersey was awake. Steve stepped back to his side and dropped to his knees. “Danny!”

The prince was shocked to see Steve. “What are you doing here? What the hell is going on? And of course you're shirtless. Where is your shirt, you animal?” Danny was more than a little confused and a little scared and it was pissing him off. He sat up, and Steve reached out and grabbed his hand. “What did you do, Steven?!?” It was music to the sailor’s ears. ( _Fucking finally!_ ) 

Steve grinned up at his love. “What did I do? I didn’t do anything!”

“Zip it, Steve. This has you written all over it.”

“Nuh uh. You’re wrong. I actually fixed this, if you must know. You’re welcome!”

“Fixed this. Fixed what, Steven? Fixed it how?”

“I fixed your curse with a TLK. It’s pretty basic stuff, Danny.”

“Curse? What curse? What the fuck is a TLK?”

“True Love’s Kiss. TLK.” Steven’s smirk was back.

That seemed to take the wind out of Danny’s sails. “True Love’s Kiss, huh?” 

“Yep.”

Danny nodded to himself. “It’s a shame I slept through it.”

“I could maybe demonstrate it for you now that you’re awake.”

“I think you really should, babe.” 

So he did. 

They were married six months later. The Lady Mary, Steven's sister, was kind enough to be a surrogate for their child two years after that. And on a perfect day in the middle of December, Princess Grace Marie, the future heir to the Kingdom of New Jersey was born, to the nation’s, and her fathers’, great rejoicing. True love really did conquer all.

The end.

Oh, if anyone was wondering what happened to Comtesse Amanda, just know that Viscount Harold of Langford ran her through with a blessed sword and wrote a best selling book about the experience. Lady Rachel married a builder of inns and moved with him to the Republic of Nevada where she was hot and miserable for the rest of her days.

Okay, that’s really the end.

And they lived happily ever after!

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously they used Danny's sperm and Mary's egg to have Grace. I got all hung up on how they'd do this way back when, then remembered I could just handwave it away with magic. Also, I know that calling Kono "Girl" might be sexist as hell, but I figured it was okay since the other two guys were stripped to a basic description too. Y'all know this isn't betad, so let me know if there are any glaring mistakes.


End file.
